Don't Look Back in Anger ~ Divesting the Cult of Yogi Bhajan

It was the week of my 50th birthday, in January 2020, when a client sent me a link to a private Facebook group which was called Beyond the Cage | The 3HO | Yogi Bhajan | Kundalini Yoga Aftermath.

Of course, as a Kundalini Yoga teacher, I had sometimes come across negativity around the practice and predominantly Yogi Bhajan, the master, and upon first glance, I assumed that this group was another one of those.

However, as the week progressed I began to see more and more and more women, and some men, coming forward with vivid stories of all kinds of abuse: sexual, mental and spiritual and as the days went on I simply couldn’t ignore this and everything it was bringing up for me.

I subsequently bought the book ¨Premka: White Bird in a Golden Cage¨ which had just come out and which really had kicked off this huge wave of ¨me too¨ allegations. As I read the pages, documenting 20 years of abuse, and observed via the Facebook group pretty much round the clock, rolling accusations and allegations, exposing Yogi Bhajan as a sexual predator, as a master manipulator and a bully, I felt my heart break into a million tiny pieces.

¨Premka¨ is written by the former Head Secretary of Haribajan, the given name of Yogi Bhajan, and within these pages are so many tales of a man who was clearly not living by the truths he professed.

The bottomless feeling of grief, mixed with a cocktail of shame and anger, and the incredibly powerful impression of being duped was almost overwhelming in these early days in February 2020.

 And now, here we are almost 5 years later … the Kundalini Yoga world is a very different place and the division between the people who believed the victims and the finding of a 70 page independent report, which came out in 2021, and those who continue to defend the “honour” of the master seems to still grow deeper. 

The report was conducted by An Olive Branch, an organisation formed in 2011, to respond to ethical misconduct in spiritual communities and basically concluded that sexual assault allegations against Yogi Bhajan, originally named Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji, are likely true.

The report details rape, physical injury during sex, instances of unwanted touching in intimate areas and forced exposure to pornography and also describes the ability which many of the victims described that Yogi Bhajan had to intimidate and control.

Since then there have been many articles in the press, not least a huge article in Vanity Fair, which was the basis of a new 4-part documentary series on HBO called Breath Of Fire, which splits its focus between Yogi Bhajan and one of the modern day faces of Kundalini Yoga, Guru Jagat.

The initial allegations, the penny dropping, as it were, had led to a huge dark night of the soul for me,  as my belief and energetic alignment with the teachings of the master were strong, and as I had approached the soul-seeking months before my milestone 50th birthday, I had the absolute trust in the foundations of my faith and a rock solid trust in that person and those teachings.

Of course, having visited the original ashram of 3HO (the healthy, happy holy organisation – the HQ), in 2014, I had seen first-hand that all was not quite as it seemed. The shiny images in the website, were not quite so shiny in real life, where a lot of the community lived in mobile homes with barbed wire and the early morning Sadhanas were attended by only a few.

This is where the cult of thought began to expose itself to me, but you see, it’s such a strange exchange when you hand over some of your freedom of thought, because these cults of thought actually have quite a strong hold, albeit unknowingly.

Directions like tuning in, the teacher’s oath that I pledge not to be a woman, not to be a man, not to be a person, not to be myself but to be a teacher. I mean, in hindsight what on earth possessed me to fall for all this?

But you see on the other side of these directions, something super powerful was happening to me and my soul, and my connection to myself and the depths of the experience I was having with Kundalini Yoga were so rich, these little rules, these little directions, seemed such a small price to pay for the express delivery of bliss I was receiving.

The encouragement to have a spiritual name, the encouragement to do weird diets, the encouragement to get up at 3am and pray for three and a half hours every day, the encouragement to look at Yogi Bhajan´s face for hours on end to achieve enlightenment, and the encouragement to always cover my head.  In hindsight, all a huge cult of thought but at the time as I say one I found to be worth the exchange.

I guess, I slid so easily into some of the practices, many of the others thankfully I resisted!

I remember vividly seeing so many photos in the press in Ireland as a child of mass marriage ceremonies for the Moonies because my Nana harboured such a strong fear that I might end up in one of those lines to be married.

Cults seemed to be such a big thing back then in the 70’s.

I remember being in the amazing huge marble auditorium at the Osho ashram in Pune, India in 2005 and having the feeling of being in a cult then and also the clique of the residents, the long-termers, the people who actually lived there as opposed to “spiritual holiday makers”, which I guess is what I was.

At the end of the 80s when I moved to London, I was part of the early days of dance music, when we really truly believed that dance music would change the world.

I mean isn’t that what we all want, deep down, don’t we all want that connection to be part of a collective that is changing the world?

That reality is what I felt when I discovered Kundalini Yoga. I discovered there was a lifestyle, there were potent pillars and instructions for a life that could have meaning, and there was a collective that was changing the world person by person.

And for the past 11 years that’s what I have been doing. I have been teaching Kundalini Yoga, and I have seen with my very own eyes, day in and day out what the power of Kundalini Yoga could achieve.

Kundalini Yoga can heal, Kundalini Yoga can elevate, Kundalini Yoga can gift people the ability to regulate, the ability to change how they feel and Kundalini Yoga can empower people to take hold of their lives and make this life the best and the happiest that it can be.

This, we all know, is true as Kundalini Yoga students and teachers.

I experienced Kundalini Yoga for the first time in 2008, in an exposed brick building in Hollywood and those 90-minutes changed my life forever.

I had never been in a collective space that felt more potent and my senses were so soothed by everything in that moment, the practice, the smells, the soft sheepskins, the energy in the room was so incredibly potent and the feeling afterwards stopped my life in its tracks.

I bought a lot of the shop afterwards!

I arrived on the yoga mat that day as a Shamanic healer, six years deep into my journey with Shamanism and for sure, the essence of the feeling I had after that first Kundalini Yoga and Meditation class was indeed the very same feeling I have after a Shamanic healing.

The space is the same, the interior landscape is the same, the feeling is the same and life has never been the same for me since that moment.

Shortly after that first class a new centre opened in London and Kundalini Yoga was the main offering. Over the coming 4 years, Kundalini Yoga changed my life; Kundalini Yoga changed my life more than anything else had ever impacted me before and everything began to feel so, so right.

One evening on my yoga mat, mid-class, I heard the message loud and clear. My destiny to train to be a Kundalini Yoga teacher was so loud, that of course it felt like the most natural next progression, that I would answer the calling and train to be a Kundalini Yoga teacher, so that I could also help people to attain the feelings I was having, that I could share the tools to help people to heal themselves.

And so I did.  In 2012, I began my journey to be a Kundalini Yoga teacher and what an incredible journey it was.

Yes, there were a LOT of rules, and yes I am not a lover of rules but it all made sense somehow as I began to increasingly feel the potency of these practices and in order to contain the teachings, I understood the necessity to honour their power and essentially I am a believer, so probably I was the perfect student to submerge myself into this system.

I became absolutely invested in the wisdom of the master and the reverence, I felt for the potency of the teachings was something I had never experienced before.

And I was out in the world teaching Kundalini Yoga from 2013 – 2020 and I was holding a huge space for healing for many, many people.

The synchronicity here in my personal journey is quite amazing …  In the summer of 2019 I had already signed up to retrain to be a Kundalini Global teacher.

One of my original teachers in London, Carolyn Cowan, was setting up a new school, a school which would teach Kundalini Yoga from a radically inclusive perspective, without the dogma.

Kundalini Global was a fresh approach, not bowing down to a man, not trading in the soul for the promise of happiness but rather looking at what actually happens when we get on the yoga mat, and the effects of a practice that is so potent and powerful, when we get off the mat and out into our lives.

I was actually on the faculty, teaching how to instruct Kundalini Yoga through the lens of Shamanism. And we were right at the beginning of that training when all these truths about Yogi Bhajan came out. I can say hand on heart, that if I had not been retraining, I would most definitely have stopped teaching in the Yogi Bhajan style, as I was so devastated. So it really was divine timing for me personally but I had already began a new journey and was learning a new way.

And so, it was back in early February 2020, that I took all my Yogi Bhajan adorations off my altar and I burned them. 

The bottom line is, that yes, Yogi Bhajan invented his own style of Kundalini Yoga but Kundalini Yoga existed long before Yogi Bhajan.

The Hindu Upanishads provide the earliest written records of Kundalini Yoga and describe the Kundalini energy as a powerful force that can be awakened through the practice of yoga. The Upanishads lay the foundation for the practice of Kundalini Yoga, which continues to be an integral part of Hindu spiritual traditions to this day. The teachings of the Upanishads have been passed down through generations of yogis and continue to inspire practitioners of Kundalini Yoga around the world.

Descriptions or experiences of Kundalini awakening can be found in other esoteric teachings worldwide, suggesting a universal concept.

Kundalini Yoga is most closely linked to the Tantric Yoga tradition, which emerged around the 8th century CE.   Tantra emphasizes the awakening of Shakti (feminine divine energy) and the union of Shiva (masculine consciousness) and Shakti through yogic practices.

C.G. Jung, the influential psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, had a significant interest in Kundalini Yoga and published his book on Kundalini Yoga in 1932.

Jung participated in a seminar series, led by Indologist Wilhelm Hauer, who presented on Kundalini Yoga and the concept of Chakras.

Jung saw Kundalini as a powerful symbol, representing the human drive for individuation (the process of becoming a whole and integrated self). He believed the awakening of Kundalini energy mirrored the emergence of unconscious content into consciousness, which is a key aspect of his analytical psychology.

Jung found parallels between the Chakras, energy centers in the body, according to Kundalini Yoga, and his concept of archetypes, universal and unconscious patterns that influence human behavior and experience.

While Jung's work on Kundalini Yoga wasn't widely known during his lifetime, it has gained more attention in recent years. Some Jungian analysts find his insights valuable for understanding the psychological aspects of spiritual experiences.

C.G. Jung's interest in Kundalini Yoga offered a unique psychological lens for understanding spiritual experiences. While his work has been debated, it remains a valuable resource for those interested in the intersection of psychology and Eastern traditions.

Jungs book on Kundalini Yoga was published in 1932, three decades before the arrival of Yogi Bhajan and his PR machine of how he invented it!

I absolutely believe it is good that the truth about Yogi Bhajan and his many wrongdoings is out in the world, but find it such a tragedy that the truth about the origins of Kundalini Yoga have been soley attributed to him. This is simply not true..

Yogi Bhajan joins a long list of patriarchs who have been exposed as abusers of power, who have been exposed by the wave of ¨me too¨ and the long list including Pattabhi Joyce, Bikram Choudhury and John Of God in Brazil, and we see the pillars of the patriarchy are falling down day by day.

In these days of huge change, in these days of the turning of the age when we really have nothing to hold onto but our own souls, and the knowledge that we decided to be here at this time, I hope we can all continue to bring down old and outdated ways of being.

Since my Kundalini Global training in 2020, I have continued to refine my own style of teaching which is rooted in Shamanism (I have been a Shamanic healer since 2009) and with a primary focus on healing and this year, I founded The School Of Shamanic Kundalini Yoga and Healing Arts. 

We began our first 200-hour Shamanic Kundalini Yoga teacher training in May and on the Summer Solstice of 2025, our first teachers will be out in the world teaching and holding spaces for deep healing. This is an amazing experience for us all as we tap into the weave of the ancient wisdoms of Kundalini Yoga and Shamanism.

In June 2025, we will begin a 75-hour teacher training for certified Kundalini Yoga teachers who wish to transition to become Shamanic Kundalini Yoga teachers.

There is a new way of weaving ancient and future and it is powerful, and it is empowered and there is such a strong feeling of freedom, and it is an absolute antidote to all cults of thought.

I wholeheartedly acknowledge the findings of the report and I absolutely stand by and believe the women who have come forward to finally air their truths and begin their healing.

I believe in the truth and I hope that we all continue to wake up and we continue to deprogramme old outdated patriarchal systems of belief and cults of thought that keep us locked up into small versions of ourselves.

And so I ask myself isn't THIS amazing powerful and liberated sense of freedom what I have always wanted? The answer is simply a full body yes and that my friends is the main reason why I’m not looking back in anger but rather looking forward in hope that this freedom is available to us all.